International Transgender Day of Visibility 2: Electric Boogayloo
In a landmark announcement earlier today, the United Nations has declared that from now on, April 1st will be recognized as International Transgender Day of Visibility 2. Their official statement follows:
“The trans community has been suffering and we all need to pay more attention, not less. The United Nations stands firm in our support of our trans family in the face of fascism and misinformation, this new day is the first step towards improving their lives.”
During the Q&A portion of the press conference, the UN clarified that TDoV2 was originally going to become March 32nd, but the Calendar Inspectors Symposium said that it would be too difficult for everyone to adjust and that the trans people should just take the one day they get and be happy about it. The UN compromised by keeping the day as April 1st but issued some interesting proclamations for the future of the day:
“While this is not a holiday, it is the start of something greater. This year it’s merely a day we recognize. If things don’t improve by next TDoV2, it will become an international day of strikes that will shut down the global economy until conditions for transgender people improve. If things haven’t improved further by 1/4/2028, we will have perfected the biological technology to give trans people the ability to turn transphobes to stone.
So if you don’t want a bunch of hot Medusas, Medusams, and Meduxas wandering around making statues, you know what you have to do. This is not a threat, it’s an angry promise”
While these claims seem extreme, it pales in comparison to the claims being made against the trans community by real politicians every day. I hope things improve soon and people wake up from this madness, or time shall soon make April Fools of us all. Otherwise in May 2028 I will be opening a rage room with some very lifelike statues…
From us here at the Kiwifruit Coaching Newsroom, Happy Transgender Day of Visibility 2: Electric Boogayloo 💜
