Insights from my First Year as a Trans Life Coach!
Kiwifruit coaching just turned 1!
This time last year, I had just tentatively started advertising and putting myself out there as a Life Coach. The 2024 election spurred me into action and I launched my business and support groups well before I would have ever considered myself ‘ready’ - but the need was too great for both myself and my community. I needed to make a positive impact to spread hope to others and foster it within myself.
Betting on myself and my abilities has been the best decision I’ve ever made.
I may not have felt ready, but the leap of faith was exactly what I needed to break through that barrier. To trust myself enough to just start. If I hadn't taken the leap when I did, I'm sure the political fear of 2025 may have prevented me from doing so at all.
After a year, I have conducted over 100 paid sessions, more than 120 sessions in total if we include my pro bono work. I remember being gobsmacked when I reached double digits, and now I'm up to triple! I'm so honored that people are working with me and getting to see their improvements over the year has been the privilege of a lifetime.
I've gotten to meet some of the sweetest, kindest people who don't believe they deserve to take up space, too scared to chase their needs and wants, too scared to be too much. With my coaching, I've seen them blossom into their potential and start asserting themselves in their lives and they have seen massive results in themselves. I make sure they recognize their progress, knowing that we all struggle to recognize it within ourselves. Seeing their faces light up when I tell them that I am genuinely proud of them is one of my favorite parts of the job.
One of the biggest surprises of the past year has been how little gender and sexuality have been a topic with my clients. They don't need someone to figure out that they're trans or queer, they just need someone who understands that context and sees them as people, not problems to be solved.
Gender and sexuality informs my coaching work, rather than being the core of it. Because after all, we're just people trying to do our best. We just need to be seen as valid. That's the barrier many of us have encountered with traditional therapists and that's a barrier that doesn't exist with me or Kiwifruit Coaching.
I wanted to share some insights from my first year in the hopes it makes people feel less alone:
Shame is defeated by disclosure. Having someone who holds you in unconditional positive regard, who doesn’t judge you for your thoughts as you process them is invaluable. Being able to discuss shameful moments, externalize them, and have them received with understanding is the way to build confidence and a more positive self-image. You are not a bad person for that thing you did that one time.
“Have you learned the lesson? Then put down the heavy textbook.” is a phrase My clients often hear from me after discussing shameful situations. If you've held onto this shame, beaten the hell out of yourself for it, done your best to ‘make up’ for/learn from it - then you just need to take the last step and let it go.
We need to be okay with outgrowing people and relationships. Some people will not follow you on your growth journey and will try and actively hamper your growth to keep themselves comfortable. Those are the relationships we either need to set boundaries in, or leave behind. If you have to shrink yourself to keep a relationship alive, it's better to let it die.
You are not crazy for feeling scared. Reality right now is scary, especially here in the US. Too many of us are burying this stress response in the background, and then wondering why we're stressed. Another benefit of working with a trans woman - I GET IT. I'm scared too. Taking action helps, please read How to Find Hope when everything feels Hopeless for more detailed insights on this topic.
Being a Life Coach for the queer community is my dream job. I made my dream job for myself and I run my business in a way I feel comfortable and rebellious at the same time.
I've been told that providing my services as “pay what you can” is devaluing my service and preventing clients from seeing the value in me. I wholeheartedly disagree. I know I can help people, it's what I am good at, it propels me forward and I'd do it for free if I could (and for some clients, I do!). I want to make a positive impact in this life and being able to see clients at whatever rate is comfortable for them just multiplies that impact. No-one should be gated from getting support. I've seen other life coaches structure their support into packages of sessions that cost thousands of dollars. I could do that too to ‘stay competitive’ but that's the antithesis of who I am as a person.
If somebody wants and needs my help, I'm going to make it work. Clients who can afford my full rate of $120 subsidize my work with those who can only afford $60 or less a session - they're all treated equally in terms of the help they receive.
Hannah and me accepting the grant check from GSBA, which was INCREDIBLE. Who doesn’t want a picture with a giant check???
Receiving an $11,250 grant from the GSBA was a MASSIVE help with keeping the business running as I got established. The money allowed me to advertise and buy the gear that I needed to have a booth at Capital City Pride and Twin City Pride here in Washington this year. It's allowed me to not compromise on my mission of helping as many people as possible, in the way that feels right for me. Now I'm getting really close to being self-sufficient, which is MASSIVE for a business in the first year of operations. I essentially just need 3 more regular full rate clients and we're there! Or 6 more clients who can pay $60. Or 9 who can pay $40. I really don't care how it's divided, as long as I get to help people and keep a roof over my head. Everything else is a bonus.
I also learned that every time I bare my soul in these articles, they're received really well - much more effective than any of the advertising that I've paid for. This tells me that people are looking for authenticity rather than generic AI slop or corporate speech. They want to get to know the person, then they will naturally get invested in their success. I've received so much more love and support than I ever expected and it's the fuel that keeps me putting myself out there despite all of the fear I have about being visible in the current political climate.
So thank you for being here, for reading my words, and supporting me and this business experiment. You're helping me prove that there is a human way to provide support and that there is a demand for queer mental health resources. I can only do this because of your help. Because y'all share my words and my mission with others. Word of mouth is how I've gotten this far and I believe it's the best path forward. So please keep sharing Kiwifruit Coaching with those who need it, it's truly priceless help.
Speaking of priceless help, I want to say a huge thank you to my wife, Hannah, for keeping me sane when dealing with the stress of starting the business and with everything going on in the world today. I wouldn’t be Hazel without her. Another huge thank you to Kayden for their incredible art, they created my logo and I think it’s given me a huge leg up in being noticed. Thank you to ROOTED in Lewis County, especially Lujan, for giving my support groups a home for free and for promoting me as a resource for the local community. Lastly, thank you to all of my found family, for seeing me and loving me for who I am. For showing me what true love and care is. For accepting and welcoming me. Your unwavering support and belief in me has meant everything. Thank you.
It's an honor of a lifetime to do this work and it will be my honor to do this for the rest of my life. I can't wait to look back on this article in a year, 2 years, 10 years; and see how far we've come.
My challenge to you, dear reader, is to try something in the next year that scares the shit out of you. Take the leap. Just give it a try, you may surprise yourself.
If you need help with that, get in touch and let’s see how we can help you achieve your scary goal, no matter the size.
You are NOT alone.
-Hazel Bloom
Looking for mental health support? Look no further! Get in touch with me below and let’s start working together
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